What could have stopped me feeling ashamed about doing IVF?

Last week was an interesting one for me. I appeared on live BBC radio talking about blogging and we touched on my pre and post-IVF anxieties. The BBC radio presenter Shazia Awan also mentioned my Will we tell our children they’re IVF babies?  blog featured as Mumsnet Blog of the Day. One of the things I’ve been pretty honest about when writing and talking about our IVF journey is how I felt about having to do IVF. I felt ashamed. Looking back, I wonder if I could have felt differently and what would have changed this for me. I hope others who are thinking about IVF or going through it don’t feel ashamed like I did. If they do, I totally get why. So here’s a few thoughts on what could have stopped me feeling ashamed about doing IVF.

My experience talking about blogging and Instagram life at the the BBC

At the end of last year a message popped up in my @luckythingsblog Instagram account. It was from BBC journalist Bela Shah. She asked if I was interested in featuring in a BBC news story on blogging and Instagram life. Bela mentioned she wanted to do a story on Instamums. As with many journalists she still had to pitch her idea to her producers and directors at the BBC. So it wasn’t guaranteed this would really go ahead.

How I feel about not having any more children?

Today in a meeting I was reminded on numerous occasions about our journey to become parents. I know me and Mr. H won’t be having any more children. Read on to find out how I feel about about not having any more babies…

Will we tell our children they are IVF babies?

Our girls have no idea what we really think of them. Most kids don’t realise how loved they are. When I told Big Munch she was mummy’s first miracle she sternly replied “No mummy, I’m not miracle. I’m Batman-Elsa!” I love it that over time she will eventually understand what a miracle means. So will we tell our children that they were IVF babies?

Our IVF journey (part 4) – Time to find out if things have worked out

Hey there, here’s part 4 of our IVF journey. Hopefully you’ve had a chance to look at part 1 (I’d like to be a mummy), part 2 (operation time) or part 3 (finally starting treatment). No worries if you haven’t, part 4 is like it’s own little story. So a quick round-up of where we got to in part 3 of our precious IVF journey. At the end of part 3 in July 2012, we had got through the first few stages of what were our own Olympics; the egg collection was successful (we got the one egg that existed) and the embyro transfer went well. I was then walking around with an embryo in me and it could actually turn into a baby.

Our IVF journey (part 3) – Finally starting IVF treatment

Hey there, here’s part 3 of our IVF journey. Hopefully you’ve had a chance to look at part 1 (I’d like to be a mummy) and part 2 (operation time). No worries if you haven’t, as part 3 is a story of its own.

Choosing our IVF clinic…

Mr.H is a pro when it comes to research. Whether it’s the latest baby gadget or the best places to travel with your kids. So I didn’t have to get stuck into too much research when it came to choosing clinics. I also didn’t have the emotional energy for it.We decided to work with the London clinic CRGH for our IVF journey. The Centre for Reproductive Health  is linked to UCL Hospital where I had my bigger than expected operation.

The clinic CRGH was located up the road from Kings Cross so it was in the middle of where I worked (the City) and where Mr.H worked (Covent Garden). We did look at their stats but to be honest they didn’t mean anything would be guaranteed results for us. One thing we liked is that they seemed to be quite innovative and tried all kinds of IVF treatment with their clients. I didn’t even realise there was more than one IVF route at the time.

Our IVF journey (part 2) – Operation time

Hello, hope your week is going ok. Well, here’s part two of our IVF journey. I’ve decided to share our story and as it’s kind of complicated, it’s appearing on Lucky Things blog in a few posts. If you missed part one, you may want to read it first (just a quick click here).

Time to sort out the main issue…

Following on from the HSG test, we soon found out what was the problem. Me. Let’s just say that things wouldn’t be able to get where they needed to go to then try and become a little magical embryo. The consultants told me that I would need to have an operation to avoid having ectopic pregnancies. So we knew I would need to get “my body in shape” if we wanted to have a baby one day.

Our IVF journey (part 1) – I’d like to be a mummy

When Mr.H helped me to register my blog domain last Autumn he mentioned that “people are going to want to hear about what you’ve gone through”. I felt apprehensive about writing about our IVF journey. It still felt like a personal and precious experience.

At the time we went through our fertility/infertility stuff, I was super-private about our situation. Nowadays, I’m super-open about it all. I guess I want to talk about how we found IVF in the hope it helps others who are thinking about it, trying it for the first time, who feel curious about it or who have close ones going through IVF.

I now understand that sharing your experiences in real-time with people who know you well and those who don’t, opens up a world of support you may not expect. If you need to wait longer to share stuff, that’s ok too.

So it’s time for me to share our complete IVF journey on Lucky Things blog. It’s a roller coaster of a journey spanning about five years. It’s just too long to capture in one post, so try to take a look at the other posts if you can. I hope you stay with me on this written journey as I describe our emotional travels to finally meet our Big Munch and our Baby Munch…